She’s not shy; She’s introverted
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Do you know the difference between shyness and introversion? I’m in a self-help group (of 1) of parents who don’t always understand really, really, really introverted kids. Maybe you’ll join me. Or maybe you’re that introvert who wants to be understood, like my daughter.
So, the big question — what is introversion?
It’s all about your energy.
I bet you know about extroversion already. Extroverts get their energy from . . . say it all together now . . . being around other people.
So, introverts get their energy from . . . (any guesses?) . . . being alone.
It’s not shyness.
Shyness is a social anxiety.
It’s all about energy.
Introverts can be very social; they just need time to recharge their batteries away from others. Introversion is a temperament – not a behavior.
Think about the children in your life. Do you know any who are introverts? They might
– need more processing time
– like to watch before participating
– not make eye contact
– only have one or two friends
– find it difficult to share their feelings
– learn by observing
– be very smart, even gifted
If this sounds familiar, you will want to read The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D. It’s helped me understand my “innie” and her unique gifts. I reread it often.
As parents and teachers, I hope that we think about the needs of the introverts in our homes and classrooms — the world is designed by extroverts, for extroverts. We need to give equal consideration to our introverts, too.
Introverts in Chapter Books
My list is from books I’ve personally read, and in no way complete nor perfect. If you want to add a suggestion or contest a book on my list, please comment below.
Franny K. Stein books by Jim Benton
Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
The View from Saturday by E.L. Konigsburg
Unusual Chickens for the Exceptional Poultry Farmer by Kelly Jones
All Four Stars by Tara Dairman
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Chasing Redbird by Sharon Creech
The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
Enola Holmes series by Nancy Springer
Wish Girl by Nikki Lofting
Stonebird by Mike Revell
Rain Reign by Ann M. Martin
Ophelia and the Marvelous Boy by Karen Foxlee
The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
Almost Home by Joan Bauer
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
Stoker and Holmes series by Colleen Gleason
Do you have an introverted child?
Photo credit: rolands.lakis / Foter.com / CC BY
what a lovely way to work through the challenges of parenting a child who is different than yourself. my husband has struggled to understand our son, who is much more like me – a true introvert. i love being social, but have limits. i’ve worked a lifetime on being more outgoing, and have found great benefits. i also cherish the time i set aside for my “recharge” needs. we now have a daughter who is much more like my husband – more extroverted – and i am struggling with the same challenges my husband has met up with. i celebrate your parenting, and want to share that every child works through challenges growing up in a world not designed to meet their needs. your daughter is lucky to have you, working to understand and support her.
It’s interesting how we learn to categorize so we know how to relate to others and the world around us. I’m probably like you Theresa, I’m not a categorical introvert or extrovert. I can and like to be social and mostly with small groups I can have a good chat with, but I definitely need my alone time. I need to be social to take me out of my little world, but I can be alone for a long time.
I’ve been called an introvert before and never really questioned it, but after reading your list I can say no I’m not. Not making eye contact is a big no no with me, my son in law does this and it drives me nuts. Makes me want to say stand up straight and look at me when you speak.
Guess I’m back to being a “lone wolf” so to speak.
Thanks, Christopher — I think you’re just fine being the way you are!\. Friends probably already know who you are — and those who don’t will hopefully give you a chance. One of my best friends is an introvert and I thought she hated me at first — turns out she just takes some getting to know.
I think introverts make the best of friends!
I like the fact that there is a difference between being shy and being introverted. I think what is interesting is that my wife is quite shy whereas I am more introverted. I can be sociable but only if I am comfortable in being so. I do appear shy if I am alone with strangers, but if I know that it is beneficial to be sociable, then I will make an effort to be less shy.
Thank you for sharing,