How to Be a Good Parent (By Taking Care of Your Own Cr*p)
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Something big is happening in my life.
I’m transforming.
I’m am fully embracing my leadership in all areas of my life – as a parent, with you here, and as a teacher.
You see, I didn’t before. Not really. I always held back.
Choosing Myself
After years of therapy, introspection, and mucking around the gunk, I came to understand that if I didn’t end a significant relationship in my life (not my husband), I would continue to believe that I wasn’t good enough, and that I wasn’t capable.
The truth is I am capable.
The truth is I couldn’t cope with the constant criticism in my life. The truth of my potential seemed hard to believe. And frankly, there’s only so much anxiety medication one can take – I think I’ve maxed that option out already.
So, I choose myself and ended the relationship.
In doing so, I choose a healthy legacy for my girls.
And I choose freedom.
(Can I just tell you that with freedom comes joy?!)
I’ve been transformed.
I am stepping into the beauty of my full self.
Once I started doing my own inner work, I realized that dealing with my inner life was the first step in raising my children, children with character, leadership, and integrity.
And, I just don’t do toxic any more. Adios. Toxic relationships no longer serve me.
My a-ha: Good parenting starts with my own self-awareness and growth.
I want that for you, too. Do the hard, mucky work and be your best self.
YOU matter. You are worth it.
Do Something Today
Then commit to reading something to help yourself reflect and grow. Today.
Fabulicious Blogs for Life Changing Confidence
– Karen Salmansohn (love her FB page!)
– Alexandra Franzen
– 365 Grateful
– DailyGood
– Momastery
– Awesomely Awake: Happy Parents, Happy Kids
– Kind Over Matter
– When I Grow Up
Heart-brilliant Printable Downloads
– The Desire Map
– The Declaration of You
– Create Your Incredible Year in Big + Life eworkbooks
– Radical Forgiveness Worksheet
Books with Gems of Inspiring Wisdom for Life, Health, and Work
(updated 12/2015)
– The Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle Laporte
– The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown (also read Daring Greatly and Rising Strong!!)
– Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
– Will I Ever Be Good Enough? By Karly McBride, Ph.D.
– Why I Wake Early by Mary Oliver (there’s something about poetry that is soul-nourishing for me!)
– Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Beautiful, Messy Life by Glennon Doyle Melton
– Goddesses Never Age by Christiane Northrup, M.D.
I’m totally honored that you’re here with me.
Choose your own ending to this invitation.
What are you going to do? Comment here.
xo
~ Melissa
KEEP READING
top photo: ashley rose, / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
Lovely post. Thank you.
thanks, Marnie.
Thank you so much for including my site here … such an honor. And, as I told you in email, I’m right there with you. I’m going to add this book to my to-read list. Thanks!!!
You are amazing, Shawn.
thank you for always being inspiring!
I’d love to read this book with you Melissa! Count me in.
yay!
I need to do just what you’ve done. I’m going to read the book. Thank you for being brave and putting this out there. I am really struggling right now with a relationship that’s plagued me for most of my life, and as much as I’ve tried to distance myself from it, I keep getting encouraged to keep trying to make it better. It’s very damaging to me, and I need to take better care of myself. Thanks so much.
Jennifer, it sounds like a tough situation – maybe similar to mine. All I can say is you have to choose yourself. Even if no one else understands. Because you won’t regret it ever. You may feel guilty – but that’s been conditioned into you and is different than regret. You can live with guilt. You may not be able to live with toxicity for the reset of your life. I found a great therapist – if you don’t have one, I highly recommend it. Wishing you well, and sending you hugs!
Thank you so much! I am going to take your advice. Today. I do have a new therapist; one who hopefully will be more adept at helping me address the residual effect of the toxicity, and guilt trips, and lies, and just overall mean-spiritedness. Best wishes to you; I hope to continue the discussion as I read the book. Here’s to good health and happy families.
You are amazing. Taking care of yourself is the best choice. XO
Oh my goodness Melissa, I so needed this on a day like today!!! Thanks so much for this beautifully written and inspiring post!! Consider yourself getting a big virtual hug from me! Pinning and sharing. Also, I LOVE Kind Over Matter!
Tricia, big hugs back to you!!
It is amazing how your post came as an answer to my feelings today ! Thank you
Elaine
you are welcome and sending you hugs. You can do it!