In one word – Terrifying. My oldest child is only three and a half. That means we’re debating whether or not to send her to JK in the Fall. (I am so leery about full day JK!) Your description of your daughter’s Kindergarten class covers pretty much everything that I fear from the school system. At least you volunteer there so you KNOW what’s going on. Otherwise how would you even know? You might know that your child is dissatisfied, but not why. Disheartening and not comforting at all. I hope someone else can weigh in with some good words.

As a first grade teacher I want to shout out to all of you wonderful ladies that it is not like this everywhere!! I teach in Maryland and at my school we differentiate for ALL learners! My centers are interesting and educational…not cut and paste!! I am saddened when I hear people think that all children are expected to be cookie cutter children.
I have 3 children in elementary school and I know I do not always agree with what their teachers do, but I am also their teacher and it is my job to expand their world, too! I am glad that my their teachers don’t always do things the way I would do them and I am grateful that my children are learning to be flexible and adaptable to new people and situations!!
I also do not agree that private schools are always better places. I want my children to learn that the world is full of all kinds of people and sometimes we have to be patient and understanding and tolerant of differences (so sometimes they might be bored at school.) They might also have to be around children who do not speak the same language as them (what a wonderful gift to know someone who can speak another language!!)
I also want to point out that my salary has nothing to do with my worth…I may not make as much as someone who has the same degrees that I do, but I could not be happier being a teacher!! I also love being a mother. My children learn from me and also from their teachers. I would not want them to only have me as their teacher…I am blessed because I have the option to send them to public school (and they do not go to the BEST school in our district-according to test scores or demographics!)

I’m so sorry! We are blessed to have our daughter in a progressive public school that values experiential learning, development of critical and creative thinking skills, and concern for community — but I know it’s rare, and getting even more so. It’s good that you’re considering all options — and whatever you decide, you have such wonderful reserves of knowledge and experience that you will make any choice great.

(P.S. — I love Ralph Fletcher! I like Lucy Calkins’ Raising Lifelong Learners too, especially if you’re going to ‘supplement’ school. Looking forward to this month’s series!)

I have loved all these comments!! Melissa, I’m really looking forward to this month. I am really, really lucky this year: so many of our local parents have moved their kids to the private schools that my son is one of 17 kinders in his class (with an incredible teacher, lucky us), while the private schools each have 22. SHHHHH!! Don’t tell a soul, please.

Yeah, sometimes I have this feeling to about my kids being better off staying home with me. At the moment (and my eldest son is only just starting full-time school) I’ve decided on doing my best to enrich my children’s interests and subjects they study at school with what we do at home. And I’ll just see how it goes. My decision was made easier (so far) because my eldest son does not learn well from me as we have very similar personalities.
I’m frustrated with lack of educational choice where I live and the dependence on getting a great teacher.

Hey Melissa,

Love your blog and I feel your pain! My son was bright, curious, eager and an advanced learner in kindergarten until he got into the hands of the wrong teacher. Ugh! He was restless and board out of his mind. When I complained to the teacher that he was under challenged, could already read and do math, she complained to me that he wasn’t paying attention and disrupting the class. I complied with her request to keep him more focused on her, we formulated a system whereby if he paid attention to her he would get a sticker, but she never complied with my request to challenge him. Now in first grade I’ve got a kid who’s learned to space out while listening to the teacher; and everyone else, including me for that matter!

We forget that our kid’s wiring is being put into place, they’re developing their neuro-connections and ways of thinking at this age. It’s so critical to have inspiring teachers who know each kid individually and can challenge them to become real thinkers! I kept him with this teacher because we’re in year round schooling and our track only had one kindergarten teacher. I didn’t want to move tracks because my daughter has special needs and I felt she was best suited with her teachers. My hope for my son was that he would survive kindergarten, get into first grade where I knew the teacher would work with him. Survive he did, but I’m sorry to say that he’s lost his love of learning. The cookie cutter teacher cranked out another factory worker. However, on a more positive note, this year we put him DI (Destination Imagination,) Cub Scouts, and sports.

As parents there are things that we can still do to wake up the sleeping giants in our kids. Thank God our brains remain plastic and mold-able throughout our lives and kindergarten isn’t a death sentence! I hadn’t planned on the extra time from my busy work/mom schedule to have to do for my son what I have to do for my daughter, but that’s the trade off of public school. It’s public, it’s free and the teachers teach to the middle child. They have lives, families and they’re busy. Unlike private school, we can’t go stomping into the director’s office demanding they make the teacher work harder because “damn it, I’m paying a heck of a lot of money.” The money I do have goes into the extra curricular activities that make my kids better people.

Well, there you have my two cents on this issue. For me it always boils down to the trade off I have as an involved parent with more limited resources.

I know how you are all feeling about sending your kids to public schools, do not fret, your children are very much ahead of other kids because you are reading, playing, and communicating with your child, as indicated by the love expressed on this blog. Just be sure they are still getting the best from you, don’t show your concerns to your child. Pay attention to what they are learning.
Beware of the teacher that tells you they do not need to learn math because of caculators, or to learn cursive because of computors. Too much of basic education is being forgotten about because of the gadget and games.
I raised 3 boys and have a grandson in school, the experiences I had were 50/50, it is going better for the grand. I aslo do daycare and see some good things from the schools, also some of the not so good. Just take it day to day and don’t worry too much. If homeschooling is your thing for your kids, make sure they get plenty of social activities, and do it with much LOVE

Melissa, I had this same problem with my kids. Everytime I went to discuss the issues with my kids teachers, they were amazed that I thought there was a problem. They could not understand why their method of having every student do exactly the same thing was not a great idea. In the end, I would look every year for a new school for my child, and end up keeping her/him where s/he was. I would find other outlets to offer my child a wider window of opportunities. I signed them up for after school art classes, summers at the science museum, and with one child who tested gifted, I was able to get her into special programs for young gifted kids offered by universities like Duke or Johns Hopkins. My favorite poster hangs over my desk : ” Stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone.” Keep fighting for your kids!

Thanks for re-posting this. My wife is a preschool teacher and is very much in favor of process instead of product. At times, she actually feels like she has to defend her position. Seems like some (more than we’d like) parents, want the “classic” preschool crafts and want their kids to do worksheets. Seems like a lot of parents want their kids to be ready academically for kindergarten whether or not they’re socially ready. They don’t understand that play and experimentation are really important things. Again, thanks for posting!

I think it’s good you kept this post online. It brings up an important topic.

I am a retired special education and kindergarten teacher. I believe children should attend public school if at all possible. If it is not satisfactory, then help make it so. Yes, the classrooms are too crowded and the teachers are underpaid. Help make changes through your school, district policies, and state legislation. Volunteer whenever you can. Some things can be taken home to help a teacher, go on field trips, help in the classroom, help a child in the hall who needs special attention. My daughter was a special ed. student. She did fine in elementary school where I taught. But middle school did not work for her as much as I thought it should. So we finally homeschooled her and it was a wonderful opportunity for Sarah and her dad to bond. I made the lesson plans and he worked at home so could help her with the lessons. Do whatever is best for your child – but demand good teachers. It is very difficult for a teacher to be fired – very difficult due to union lawyers, the amount of documentation required and the many times a teacher may fail before something truly horrible happens so that she or he can be fired. I know wonderful dedicated amazing teachers who are burned out because of state standardized tests and No Child Left Behind pressures. Vote, take action and volunteer – or homeschool.
Susan Case recently posted..Kindergarten – Enroll or Wait? A Teacher’s View