Special Needs, What a Joke
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Do you ever wonder what a mom feels when her child is labeled? Maybe your child has been labeled. Or maybe you’ll know someone who could use your compassion and empathy. This is where I begin, sharing from my heart, what those words mean / meant to me.
I wrote this in an essay writing class last month. Our in-class prompt was to end with “what a joke.” I knew exactly what I wanted to write.
Because I am grieving.
First, came denial. (And a lot of weight gain and apathy.)
Many months and months later, just recently, came anger. Once I let myself feel, I was surprised at the anger. I expected to feel sadness, not anger.
Now, I’m more peaceful. I’m closer to acceptance of my new normal. But, when I wrote this, I had just started to deal with all the “stuff” that happened inside me when my kids were labeled. I wrote it to my old self. I wrote it to my demons.
It’s raw. I hope it won’t bother you too much. It was my truth in that moment.
. . .
Special needs. There I said it. My kid has special needs; well, both my kids do if you want to know the truth. Which I doubt you do.
Now you’ll try to shut me up and say, “Oh, I don’t know how you do it” or some other condescending remark to mean “thank God it’s not me” and look at me like you’re glad your karma got you two “normal” kids.
This label is like cement, pulling me into submersion with my nose barely sticking out of the liquid, gasping for air.
Special.
Hardly.
What a joke.
So glad you shared. Big hug!
Thanks for sharing! It will help many others out there accept all the feelings they think are not normal. Expression is good! Every body has their uniqueness and should be accepted without feeling they are outside the norm and there is something wrong. We often all feel at points we are outside the norm.
Gosh, I did not know, so sorry.
My/our story is long and diverse. Overall my craw was stuck with a system trying to help a child who was not “needy” enough for attention and services. Help came with lots of angst.
Its hard even just explaining your emotions when your children have special needs. I know for me they change from day to day and go through cycles of dealing and grieving over it. I am pregnant with my third right now. Both of my children have special needs and my step daughters also have medical issues. I have not come forward to anyone about my feelings of whether I wanted a boy or a girl this time. When I was first thinking about it all I could think about was all the girls have seizures, yet my son has autism…..so do I want a child with more medical issues, or a child with more develpmental issues. Isnt that terrible comparing which gender baby I hope for based on the special need he/she might have. It is definitely hard coming out with your feelings…like I said, this is the first I have even mentioned this to anyone besides myself.
Colleen, You are such a brave woman, thank you for sharing your heart. Who knew parenting could be this hard? I hope knowing that you are not alone will help those days when you’re feeling low. We are here for each other. Big hugs!