Comments on: Special Needs, What a Joke

By: Karen DeGroot Carter

Karen DeGroot Carter — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 02:36:04 +0000

Melissa, Quinn nailed it: No way to fix–and isn’t that the mother’s role–fixing? And Dee when she talks about “letting go of what society tries to put on all of us.” And Barb: You don’t have a choice (freaking or otherwise!). Which is why you do inspire people, so don’t take offense when people are truly impressed and honestly don’t know (and probably don’t want to know) what you deal with and how you cope, day in and day out. What’s obvious from the reactions here: you’re surrounding yourself with people who care, and by sharing what you’re going through, you’re helping others help you. Smart and gutsy and yes, incredibly inspiring. Hugs, K.

By: Freya

Freya — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 21:39:33 +0000

My heart aches at the destructive force labels have…for everyone involved. The child, the adult, the teacher… How does this label solve, create, empower, help? Pigeon holing puts children (or adults) in a dark place with a feeling being trapped. Why do we not look at each and every individual as “special needs” if we so choose?

Aren’t we all special, do we not all have needs? Yes! and each of us needs, wants, feels differently. We are all special and that should be a celebration, not a label, not a destructive place. I love the pieces that make up your daughters, my nieces, that which makes them unique, amazing, and courageous as they walk in a world that sometimes doesn’t quite “get” them. And you…my amazing sister have chosen to honor and respect their very uniqueness – even though that is hard sometimes. Never fear your anger, let it rage at the idiots (okay that’s my own label) that forget (or maybe never knew) the destructiveness of word and actions. And find peace knowing that there is a community of people who love you and love them. Period. No stipulations, reservations, qualifications.

I celebrate you. I celebrate them.

By: Carol

Carol — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 01:07:02 +0000

My experience tells me that both of these statements are true, even though they might contradict each other.
Label jars, not people.
The only valid purpose of labels is to open a door to SERVICES.

I hope that you have many opportunities to discuss thoughts and share feelings with other families, whenever and however YOU choose. You might consider an online support group, a face-to-face group, and books/articles/blogs written by parents. If you discard the trite and the false, you’ll find a lot of information, humor, and supportive folks out there! And there will also be times when you are the one who is sharing info, laughter, or support.

By: cynthia

cynthia — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 15:13:18 +0000

dearest melissa
your words are powerful and poignant
i am moved to tears
and bow in deep honor
of your experience and of your expression
thank you for being true to who you are
for speaking your truth

what fortune your daughters have — to live in the heart of such a mother
who courageously chooses acceptance of raw truth over candycoating
such depth resounds in your voice such a profound impact your walk
much love and gratitude to you dear dear one

By: Olugbemisola

Olugbemisola — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 17:37:23 +0000

So glad you shared this — thank you for your courage, you inspire me! Was just talking about this with another parent yesterday, about these and similar challenges, and what we teach our children about labeling, and categorizing, and defining. I laughed when I read a prayer last night that went “Lord, save me from yet another ‘learning experience’.” Sometimes it’s just hard, and it’s important to acknowledge that. Sending many hugs.

By: Melissa Taylor

Melissa Taylor — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 14:35:39 +0000

In reply to Hallie Doyle. Wow, Hallie, I am sorry it's been such a tough year. I'm breathing with you, my friend. One day at a time. Breathing. Love you!

By: Melissa Taylor

Melissa Taylor — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 14:25:12 +0000

In reply to Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD. It was so hard, Wendy! Thank you.

By: Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD

Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 13:07:19 +0000

BRAVO! On my feet! Not for the suffering or the angst or the grief or desperation…but for the COURAGE to speak its truth!